October 19, 2005

Yeah so, uh... what the fuck?
I don't get myself sometimes.
My ex is depressed lately. In fact, his whole personality changed right around the time he met this girl at work....he started keeping secrets and not opening up. Eventually I found out he was cheating on me with her and then I got dumped. Now he's living with her and I don't talk to them that often. But lately, he's been depressed and it's weird that I am getting calls from HER at 11 o' clock at night because she doesn't know what to do. My phone said call from "B---- the Bitch."
So here's the part I don't get - I listened to her! I tried to be friendly and counsel her. WHY WOULD I DO THAT? Those two have turned my life upside down and inside out... they sent me to one of my lowest points. So why am I being there for them? My ex called also, the other day. I dunno, maybe I still care about him. But I don't know why I offer to help them out. I don't want their relationship to succeed. I want it to fail so he could see what a shitty thing it was to choose her over me. It's apparent that his life is already taking one bad turn after another. I don't want him to die or anything....but just to feel what I felt.
So I dunno. It's so weird to have her call me up needing someone to listen.
I don't know what to do. I want things to suck for them, but at the same time I hate to think someone is suffering. Argh! I wish none of this had ever happened! I'm so confused!
What would you do?

Lisa blogged at 9:05 PM.
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